* oft him anhaga are gebideð

last night I bumped into someone
I have only met once before
a brief conversation ....

"come up for New Years, how many of you are there?"
"just me"
"you'll have to look after yourself"
"oh I do"
"you look different? happy"
"I am!" 

thinking on it
just me
juste moi

it is no bad thing
when you spend enough time being quiet
when you don't speak out loud for a few days
your mind calms
your brain rests
you don't have to edit yourself
or react to the people around you
you choose to be alone for a enough time
to feel at peace

seeking out solitude crosses many cultures

and historical periods

Christian ascetic hermits

Sibyls of ancient Greece

Rishis of Vedic India

all valued the power of 'aloneness'

as a means of initiating transformative experiences

"happiness is inside us, not outside
thus
happiness is conditioned not on what we have
but on who we are"
- Pablo Neruda 

and so here I am travelling into 2019

I got here/I'm still here

huge credit to my backing singers
I'll take the lead

juste moi

happy?

you have no idea!

** title translation from The Wanderer
"often the solitary one finds grace for himself"

what a catalyst you turned out to be

time zips along

it's been two years since I moved here

and in that two years

much has bubbled along

under the surface of the water

while sifting through boxes piled high in a room

boxes of my life before

boxes unopened for many years

a realisation that they are no longer relevant 

to this life

the French have a phrase

'avoir le cafard'

to have the cockroach

the Ariege blues

it could be easy to let that feeling overshadow

but then someone shakes you

takes you out of the room

from the boxes

gets you drunk

and tells you to F off

take a look

think about it

the boxes have been emptied

some remain

much much less

just real precious things

leaving space for more living

less owning

more belonging ....

this morning

a moment

a reminder of why I live and love it here

crisp ice on the windscreen 

see your breath morning

pink sky behind snow topped mountains

music on {loud}

white frosted fields

soul filled

eyes watery

yep

bimbimbim

officially here 

to stay

take that Brexiteers

****