* oft him anhaga are gebideð

last night I bumped into someone
I have only met once before
a brief conversation ....

"come up for New Years, how many of you are there?"
"just me"
"you'll have to look after yourself"
"oh I do"
"you look different? happy"
"I am!" 

thinking on it
just me
juste moi

it is no bad thing
when you spend enough time being quiet
when you don't speak out loud for a few days
your mind calms
your brain rests
you don't have to edit yourself
or react to the people around you
you choose to be alone for a enough time
to feel at peace

seeking out solitude crosses many cultures

and historical periods

Christian ascetic hermits

Sibyls of ancient Greece

Rishis of Vedic India

all valued the power of 'aloneness'

as a means of initiating transformative experiences

"happiness is inside us, not outside
thus
happiness is conditioned not on what we have
but on who we are"
- Pablo Neruda 

and so here I am travelling into 2019

I got here/I'm still here

huge credit to my backing singers
I'll take the lead

juste moi

happy?

you have no idea!

** title translation from The Wanderer
"often the solitary one finds grace for himself"

what a catalyst you turned out to be

time zips along

it's been two years since I moved here

and in that two years

much has bubbled along

under the surface of the water

while sifting through boxes piled high in a room

boxes of my life before

boxes unopened for many years

a realisation that they are no longer relevant 

to this life

the French have a phrase

'avoir le cafard'

to have the cockroach

the Ariege blues

it could be easy to let that feeling overshadow

but then someone shakes you

takes you out of the room

from the boxes

gets you drunk

and tells you to F off

take a look

think about it

the boxes have been emptied

some remain

much much less

just real precious things

leaving space for more living

less owning

more belonging ....

this morning

a moment

a reminder of why I live and love it here

crisp ice on the windscreen 

see your breath morning

pink sky behind snow topped mountains

music on {loud}

white frosted fields

soul filled

eyes watery

yep

bimbimbim

officially here 

to stay

take that Brexiteers

****

lavenders blue dilly dilly

while treasure hunting with my friend

we spotted some stems wrapped in ribbon

the lady explained 

it's for your linen

and is made from fresh lavender

yesterday morning we cut the stems

before the heat of the sun

in the shade of the terrace

I stripped the lower leaves 

and flowers

picking 13 stems

and tying them with ribbon 

underneath the flowers

turn the flowers upside down

and bend the stems over

the flowers

then weave the ribbon around

lifting every other stem

over 

under

over

under

tie off then wind around the stems

or not

make a loop

or not

and trim the stems

hang them to dry 

in your wardrobes and armoires

>>>------> soleil et la fille

it was a good day

to share something creative

with a sweet girl

of 15 years old

an old process

175 years old

chemistry

water

fabric

sunshine

water

results

this little bird

flew away smiling

**** flowers, fetes and friends

one thing the French love

is a Fete

they take them very seriously

plenty of effort is put in to set them up

there are fetes for everything

music, food, flowers, nuts, bears

you name it

and my village is no exception

so I took it as an excuse to escape the

four day 'feria' in La Bastide

a 35 minute drive from my house is

Bordebasse 

the home of Jimmy & Gill who very kindly

let me stay for three nights of quiet and calm

this lake is in the grounds 

and those grounds are full of wild flowers

campion

wild orchids 

orange blossom

and in the adjoining land

a field of linseed

with their tiny delicate blue

if you need a getaway

I'd thoroughly recommend staying here

it's a little piece of heaven 

in the hills

~~:~~